The first mobile phone I owned was a Motorola c520. It was a monstrosity, a loathsome piece of machinery that was actually bigger in landmass than several middle-eastern countries.

Even back then, in the dark-ages of 2001, it was considered antiquated and my pre-pubescent chums took enormous delight in mocking me assiduously for possessing such an unpleasant gadget.

Yet despite its grotesque appearance and the fact it weighed fractionally more than a blue whale, there was one thing I could do better on my c520 than I can on my current phone – text.

Only yesterday, whilst I was feebly prodding away at my Samsung Galaxy’s touchscreen keyboard with supreme inaccuracy, I found myself longing for my Motorola brick.

For all the bells and whistles and apps they crowbar into mobile phones these days, I still feel I could knockout a quick SMS using the dial pad on my c520 faster than I can on a Samsung Galaxy S.

That doesn’t seem right.

Perhaps I am looking back with rose tinted goggles, but I recall being able to accurately construct a lengthy text message in a matter of seconds back then. It never seemed particularly strenuous either.

These days, texting seems like a chore and summoning the will to live is a frequent challenge as I aimlessly jab away at the infuriating 3mm wide blocks embedded inside the screen.

And my fingers are spindly.

This isn’t a slight at Samsung, as all touchscreen phones I’ve encountered have been the same (yes even the iPhone). In fact I actually applaud them for innovating with SWYPE technology, which allows you to trace between letters to form words. Once I take the time to master this dark art, perhaps things still start to look up.

Admittedly I’ve never owned a handset possessing a physical QWERTY keyboard, so I suppose I’m my own worst enemy for ignoring what many people champion as the pre-eminent method of texting.

I did look at a Blackberry, honest. But despite boasting clear functional appeal, the handset I had my eye on, the Bold 9700, wasn’t the prettiest in show and came with a below-par web browser.

There’s always a compromise it seems.

If you want cutting edge technology and a sleek, elegant beauty of a mobile phone then you’re going to have to train your fingers to cope with a fidgety touchscreen keyboard.

I pray daily to the mobile phone gods (you know, Apple, HTC, Samsung, etc) that they will bless us with a handset that combines all mod-cons with a super-fast, non-infuriating method of inputting text.

The original Google phone, the G1, was an exquisite piece of kit and boasted a full slide-out keyboard. A return to those former glories, combining Android with the joy of simple text is long overdue.

If not, I might have to delve into my parent’s attic and dig out the old c520, which I really don’t want to do, not just because it was uglier than a guest on the Jeremy Kyle Show, but also because it’s propping up the back-end of their house.

No joke.